Wow. I didn't wake up until nearly 6:30 this morning. Which means I am not running today, which is OK since I have run 25 miles in the last week and have run 4 days in a row now. I had planned on taking tomorrow off, but I will let tomorrow tell me whether I will or not. I am taking a day of vacation on Friday so that I can run my 5.5 miles on my 55th birthday. When I agreed to speak at the 6:30 a.m. meeting I forgot about that plan to run - and it is so important to me that I decided to take the whole day off to run and enjoy my birthday.
How well I remember the first year I was sober. It was about this time of the year and I was telling someone that I was going to be 34. And then I thought about that and actually did the subtraction:
1984 - 1951 = 33
I had spent that entire year thinking I was 33 years old when I was only 32. I missed being 32 years old entirely. But I have to say that the second year of being 33 was infinitely better than the first because I was sober!
And I thought when I got to Alcoholics Anonymous that I was "nipping it in the bud," I was so delusional that it never occurred to me that drinking every day for 18 years was well beyond a "little" problem.
"When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached AA expectivng to be taught self-confidence. Then we had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was no good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 22